"What do you do?"
Should you be on the receiving end of this unfortunate question, you
have a number of clever retorts to choose from, being careful not to
unduly offend the woman you are speaking to.
- "I'm an ologist."
- "I'm a misanthrope."
- "I'm an unemployed Employment Counselor."
- "I'm Chargé d'Affairs for the Austro-Hungarian
Empire."
- "I'm the pretender to the throne."
- "I'm a sorceror's apprentice."
- "I'm an Assistant to the Undersecretary."
- "I'm an avatar."
- "I'm the reincarnation of Albertus Magnus."
- "I'm co-author of the book,
1001 Creative Ways to Spend Your
Welfare Check."
- "I'm an inferior decorator."
- "I'm a direct descendant from Adam."
- "I'm the chauffeur's favorite nephew."
- "I'm accepting donations."
- "I'm The One And Only."
- "I'm writing a book on how to answer impertinent
questions."
Your conversation partner might well be at a loss for words, but do
hasten to assure her that no offense was intended, and it's all in
jest. [Lessons in good manners are best administered in a lighthearted
and painless fashion.]
What do you do?
I try my hardest to be a good and decent human being,
not always an easy task amidst an epidemic of rudeness.
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Note that if you are speaking with a women as socially inexperienced
as you, she may unintentionally let slip the baleful "What do you
do?" question. This does not necessarily imply bad manners on her
part, and there may be mitigating circumstances. Exercise restraint and
be kind. This most certainly takes precedence over flaunting your
devastating wit.
"When the Messiah comes, he will heal the sick and raise the
dead... but for the fool there is no cure."
old Jewish proverb